Here’s How to Feel Supported & Prepared

Have you ever wondered why when you go to change  something like stop eating so much, which is my   favorite, or you try to exercise more or you  want to be more disciplined with your money,   any kind of big habit that you've had or big uh process that you've had in your life that you want   to change. Ever wonder why it's so darn hard to change it? It's really hard because our brains are   actually working against us. Our brains are wired for congruency.

So in other words, if you have an   underlying belief, your brain is going to send you continually in the direction of that belief,   whatever it is. So often times our limiting 

beliefs are either not true or not helpful. And if   we don't get to the root of that limiting belief, 

then we aren't able to change the outward habit   that we see. So today we're going to talk about 

exactly how that works and the factors that come   into that. It's a to me it's really interesting. 

Brain science is so interesting given where I   came from. um somewhat of a traumatic childhood. 

Had to leave home at 15 and start my life on my   own. I had to figure a lot of this out and many 

many years I spent believing that I had a broken   brain. Like literally, I thought my bro brain 

was broken. I just didn't work like other people,   yada yada, and that I would never be able to 

change anything. And then I started to come   across a lot of research that talks about this. 

Uh there are many different practitioners out   there that talk about this.

So, as a beginning to 

this video, I want to say I am not a doctor. I'm   not a counselor. I'm not a psychologist. I am 

a trained coach and neuro change practitioner,   which simply means I have some skills that I 

obtained more so to heal my own things about   myself that I didn't like. And now what I do with 

this channel is I share those things with you in   the hope that there's pieces or parts of this or 

maybe all of this that'll help you. I do do a live   um online workshop with this work because it is 

hard to do on your own, but I think some people   will be able to watch this video and really come 

away with some aha moments. So, let's get started.   Everything I talk about or I teach in these uh 

workshops or short videos I share with you are a   result of me having learned something that has 

helped me overcome my own personal obstacles.  

I've encountered many situations throughout my 

life uh that really highlighted my bad decision   making skills. And let me tell you, I have made 

some bad decisions. So, I am now on a mission to   support thousands of women in making this chapter 

of their lives the absolute best it can be. And we   do that by personal growth, for lack of a better 

word. April Corbett.com is where you can find all   the handouts, but the links are always below. 

There will be a handout for this video as well,   and you'll find more information about our 

community and the things that we're doing to   support women. Okay, so here's what we're going to 

cover today. Understanding beliefs and what role   they play in our lives, unconscious and conscious 

beliefs, limiting beliefs and why they are so   sneakily harmful, dispositional and core beliefs. 

And honestly, I didn't know anything about this   whole dispositional and core belief thing. So, 

this is really interesting.

Cognitive dissonance   is another thing we're going to talk about today 

and its role in changing your beliefs. And again,   I didn't know what that was either until I learned 

about it. Then we're going to put into practice   and do some exercises with you. Because when you 

learn this exercise, you'll be able to leave with   the ability to identify, assess, and rewrite 

any beliefs that you have uncovered that are   actually getting in your way. Anyone who wants to 

understand more about their belief system. Someone   who suspects they may have beliefs in the way 

of their growth process. Survivors of childhood   trauma. And by the way, yes, I am looking at notes 

because you know it's hard. It's hard. Uh, anyone   who has tried traditional talk therapy.

Oh, I don't know where my voice went. Anyone who's tried   traditional talk therapy because talk therapy 

actually for some people is more harmful than   it actually helps. And we'll talk a little bit 

about that as well. any person who is open to new   ideas. You have to be open to thinking differently 

than you think. And again, um don't replace your   doctor's uh recommendations for anything anyone 

on YouTube teaches you, myself included. So,   anyone who wants at least one new tool for dealing 

with a disregulated brain, and a disregulated   brain simply means that you're not getting the 

results that you believe you want. That's all   it means. You hear it a lot, though. anyone who 

thinks their brains are cool and wants to know   more about how they learn. So that's who it's for. 

Uh it's not for anyone that has no interest in   personal growth. You have to have some interest in 

growing as a human. So someone who fundamentally   does not believe that they are responsible for 

their life and their current circumstances, this   isn't for them either because this requires taking 

personal responsibility for your life and how it's   going. So reasons to stay to the end. This is step 

one of a learning process that will change your   life if you learn the fundamentals and implement 

the tools. Staying to the end is also a great way   to solidify your commitment to yourself to change 

things. It's not a long presentation and it's   really important that you learn the fundamentals 

so you can just think about it. Having said all   that, uh let's get going.

So what is a belief? I mean I know it sounds really rudimentary but the   understanding of a belief is really important. So a belief is an attitude or a conviction about what   you believe the truth to be about an idea of a 

concept. So that part's really important. Some of   our beliefs are basic concepts of things around us 

that are consistent things we don't question. We   just believe it. Beliefs are often shared with our 

families and our social uh circles and influence   social norms. Now, that piece is important because 

I'm sure you've heard this before that you're only   going to be su as successful as the five people 

you surround yourself with. And that's where this   idea comes from. When you're always around the 

same people that are sharing your same beliefs,   there's no room for cognitive dissidence, which 

is important, and we're going to talk about that   in a bit. So, we apply these beliefs to our 

memories, our current experiences, the future,   and they also help us understand the world around 

us.

So, when I say we apply them to our memories,   this is such an interesting piece for me. Uh, 

when I first left home, I hated my parents.   I just thought they were the worst people in the 

whole world. having come, you know, so many years   later now because my belief about people and how 

they act has changed. My view of them has changed.   I actually now believe my parents did the exact 

best that they could do and no less. They did   exactly what they knew how to do at the time and 

I actually have a ton of compassion for them now.   Whereas when I first left home, I was like, never 

mind. So why do we have beliefs? Beliefs help us   make sense of our our surroundings quickly and 

efficiently. Since we're unable to process every   bit of information that comes into our mind, we 

take it second by second. Beliefs can be both   harmful and helpful. In most situations, beliefs 

are helpful, but they can also lead to systematic   errors in judgment or negative thought processes. 

Beliefs that create systematic errors can also be   called personal biases. And we're going to talk 

about that. A personal bias can be formed through   an experience or from picking up ideas about 

how the world is through our experiences, social   media, parents, and even TV.

So this is exactly what I was talking about. So that bias I had about   my parents actually came about as a direct result of having left at 15 and really struggling to get   my head together, to get my life together, to have relationships, all those things. So my situation   at 15 really reflected this position I had of 

blaming my parents for everything. As I got older,   uh my experience became different and I could look 

at them differently. So an extreme accident of a   personal bias could be someone who had a car 

accident and then they create this belief that   every time they get in a car they're going to have 

an accident. This is a bias that will need to be   rewritten in order to make this person comfortable 

in a car. That's an extreme case, but beliefs can   be both helpful and harmful. I personally go 

through my life believing that I'm never going   to be robbed.

I'm never going to get um any kind  of big disease. I'm never going to um be beat up.   Like I just have all these beliefs about how I move in the world. And it typically tends   to reflect my life. And that is where beliefs can 

be super helpful for us. Our brains do this thing   called mental heruristics. It's a mental shortcut 

that actually facilitates problem solving and   judgments because our brains while they process 

really really fast, we also have to make decisions   really fast. So horistics are very general 

concepts or rules of thumb about how our life   is.

So what it does is it reduces our cognitive role. They can be effective for making immediate   judgments that help with decision making. However, they often result in irrational or   inaccurate conclusions. Think of walking into like a new coffee shop where you see multiple surfaces   with four legs each. You immediately recognize those as tables. Your brain processes it, but   you don't actually have to look at that table and 

wonder if I can set my coffee down on it because   you already your brain has the knowledge that that 

will work, right? So, you know based on previous   uh examples that you can put your coffee down 

on that. Our beliefs, conscious or unconscious,   they're both honestly. uh we know about them and 

we can explain about them but the majority of   our beliefs are subconscious. So we're not aware 

of them and yet they run most of our decisions.  

Subconscious beliefs run in the background of our lives all the time. Think about them as the static   on the radio and they perform multiple tasks. It is the subconscious beliefs however that get us   stuck if we don't know how to uncover them and realign them for what we really want. And we'll   talk about an example here in just a little bit of a really clear example of what that looks like.   So then we also have dispositional and core 

beliefs. These are fancy words for beliefs   uh used to describe the difference in our 

awareness. Many beliefs are the things that   we never really thought about but ones that 

we have. These are dispositional beliefs.  

Core beliefs have actually been contemplated 

and decided to have them. So in other words,   a dispositional belief is something that um we 

don't really think about it. It's kind of like the   table. That's the belief that the table's going to 

hold the coffee. But a core belief we've actually   decided on. So if I don't like dogs is a belief 

you have, you've actually decided to believe   that. So it's just a slight difference, but it's 

important and it's really important for changing   beliefs. So hold on. Dispositional beliefs are the 

ones that are on autopilot, like breathing. Core   beliefs might be a vegetarian not eating meat as 

they've decided not to eat animals for whatever   reason. And a dispositional beliefs are generally 

unconscious and core beliefs are conscious. So   core is conscious, dispositional is unconscious 

thinking. So beliefs are persistent and sometimes   stubbornly so.

So uh a personal example might be 

um I'm a stress eater which I am a stress eater   and I'm working on changing that belief right now 

because I know it is an ingrained belief that I've   had for a really long time and it doesn't need to 

be but it takes work to change it. So they start   developing the we start developing these beliefs 

uh in our first few years of life and then they're   shaped through a lifetime of experiences, the 

culture and our social networks. I believe I   got this weird eating thing that I have from 

my beloved grandma. My beloved grandma was um   are you tired? Have something to eat. Uh are you 

cranky? Have a cookie. Are you not feeling well?   That's great. Have some soup. Like her solution 

for everything was food. And one of her favorites   as she got older and baked less was um ginger snap 

cookies. I'm still to this day completely addicted   to them. And if I by some miracle come across the 

brand that she used to buy me, I'll eat the whole   bag.

Anyway, I digress. Um, okay. So, for good 

or for bad, our brain does not have an opinion   other than what we tell it. Oh my god. Let me say 

this again. This is so important. Our brains don't   really make decisions. They are only programmed by 

what we tell it. So this is where language comes   in. This gives us a superpower. Once we harness 

this superpower, it can be used to create exactly   who we want it to be and how we want to live. 

Right? So we're all really we we really are what   we think. Truth mubbles. However, it's not just 

thinking. We have to feel the belief. So you can   say I am so smart. But if you don't actually feel 

smart, you're not working on the subconscious part   of that belief.

So, we're going to talk a little 

bit more about that. This can be tricky because it   takes practice and a belief. Again, subconscious 

beliefs, core beliefs, whatever beliefs we have,   they are so persistent and consistent. So, we 

have to really work at changing them. Have you   ever tried to implement a new habit or change 

your relationship with money, lose weight,   or choose a better partner only to end up with the 

same results? This is an indicator of harboring   limiting beliefs that you're not aware of. 

Most of us have some kind of limiting belief,   even really successful people. It's only important 

that you learn how to align those beliefs to your   benefit. That's it. Because we all have them. Why 

you are the way you are and how you came to adopt   this belief is not as important as the process of 

changing it. This belief that you're not smart,   successful, athletic, pretty, organized, a good 

wife, a good mom, whatever it is, are examples of   systematic errors and judgment or a bias that 

could be a result of many things.

These would   be considered limiting and that they only tell you 

that you're not good enough or not worthy. So, you   can imagine how uh limiting that's going to be if 

you believe these things. This is where the most   frustrating part comes in for me. I believed these 

things. So, how is it possible not to believe   them? And this is where I got stuck was on the 

actual linguistics of the whole thing. I believe   these things. How do I not believe them? Like, 

that seems crazy. This is what I believe. I can't   change what I believe. That whole I did that dance 

for a very long time before I finally figured it   out. And this type of work really helped me with 

that.

So, uncovering your limiting beliefs is a   massive part of this. You really have to uncover 

what it is you believe. And it's as simple as   paying attention to your words and your thoughts 

and your attitudes. And then your actions that   follow those. So you can even reverse engineer it. 

If you're doing something you're like, why? Why am   I doing this? Like eating a sandwich at midnight. 

Guilty. So if you're doing that, then you can   actually reverse engineer that. You can go, 

okay, why am I eating this sandwich? What is it   I'm thinking? What was I thinking right before I 

decided to eat the sandwich? So there is a way to   actually untwist all of these things and move to 

a place of really understanding what you're doing   so that you can change the things in your life you 

want to change. That's really the bottom line. I   mean, I'm pretty chubby right now and I'm going 

on a weight loss journey and this is something   I'm going to have to do because I need to uncover 

what's going on for me that I am eating too much   and not exercising.

I digress again. Okay, so we 

have goals and ambitions which we just touched   on. But let's say you have a great idea to change 

something about how you believe. You have to start   to move forward a particular goal or ambition. 

Nope. You have a great idea or you want to change   something about how you behave. You start to 

move forward toward that particular goal or   ambition and bam, you come up against resistance 

or you just sidetrack and just don't do it. Oh,   I'll start tomorrow. uh you know, whatever reason, 

excuse thought process. And I say excuse, and when   I say excuse, I don't mean that in a negative way 

because I know that a lot of people see that as   a negative word, myself included. It's not about 

excuses. It's about discipline. So, you're going   to come up against resistance, which is expected 

if you're in unfamiliar territory. And remember   back in the beginning of this video where I said 

our brains want to be congruent. So, if you have   that belief, your brain is not going to want to do 

the thing that's going to change it. So, we'll get   into that in a sec. I know I keep saying that, 

but there's a lot of information in this. When   you have a limiting belief in play that you're not 

aware of, you will constantly be pushing towards   your desired outcome from these beliefs. If you 

make any headway at all, the outcome will remain   familiar to your past attempts. I just want to 

take a second right here to tell you this is   not your fault. For many years, I believed I had a 

broken brain. And this broken brain thought for me   um was devastating. Devastating. I thought that 

I was always going to be a loser and a failure   and I was never going to amount to anything. I 

was never going to have what I wanted in life   because of this broken brain.

So I want to tell 

you it it's not your fault. You just were never   taught how to overcome these things. That's what 

we're talking about today. And this is also why   it's so important to do things like this. Like 

watch this video. Just the fact that you're here   watching this video tells me that you are really 

invested in trying to change your life. And again,   it's hard to learn from just this. So, what I want 

to say about that is because I'm doing a live,   I really want you to um get on the wait list 

for the live of this because when we do it live,   there's much more interaction and you don't have 

to kind of take these weird abstract theories and   try to figure them out on your own.

Okay. Limiting 

beliefs are extremely harmful to our self-worth   and developmental growth. For me, the most 

difficult part in the early days was that I could   not see what everyone else saw. And I'm sure you 

have probably experienced this too. People would   say things that they saw my greatness. And I was 

like, you know, basically in my head, I'm calling   them liars because it's not there. Beyond that, 

I had a brain full of stories about myself that   did not even feel like stories. And that's the 

thing, they're just so deeply ingrained belief.   So because of this, I stayed stuck in my life 

as it was believing I was stupid and dirty and   useless and not meant to have anything good in my 

life. So if that's you, oh please hang on because   there is help. I was not any of those things. I 

just believed them. So they became my reality.  

The good news is that it doesn't matter from where 

they came. We can change them. In this example,   negative nan over here has not only decided 

she has bad luck, she's proclaiming it with her   language to be true. Many of us do this very 

thing, and we do it often. I hear it all the   time with myself and with other people when we're 

talking. So, personally, when working on changing   beliefs, I have found it super supportive to stop 

myself from declaring these things out loud and do   it on the spot. So, even if I'm talking to someone 

and I say, I can't even think of an example out   loud, I will stop and say, "Wait a minute. That's 

not true. This is true." And that's why it's   important to enclose yourself with really um good 

people. That's for another video.

So, what do we   have to do first? We're going to start by paying 

attention to your words. I started with the word   stupid. I called myself stupid so many times, I 

can't even tell you. And I was doing it out loud.   I was doing it in my brain. And what you have to 

do is change that belief slowly. You can't go from   I'm stupid all the way up to oh my god, I'm a 

genius. That's not going to happen, right? So,   this isn't magic. It's really not. It's an actual 

structured process that you can learn to do. You   must be willing to find, process, internalize the 

information that does not align with who you want   to be. And when I mean internalize, those beliefs 

are already internalized. What you're actually   internalizing is the knowledge that they're not 

working for you. How quickly can you change those   beliefs?

Well, it depends on how hard you want 

to work at it because there are people that can   change a belief in a week and well really three 

weeks because it takes at least that long um to   really change it. But it's incremental. You can't 

just again go from I'm stupid to I'm brilliant.   But there are many things that are also going 

to help. This is a lot of information. I get it.   And to kind of ingrain these steps, I do do a live 

workshop with people where I can work one-on-one   and in groups with people to help them change 

beliefs. Uh, and I think that's important because   I think that people really need a bit of guidance 

on this when they first start it. However,   I'm going to give you the steps right now. You can 

choose to take them now or you can go ahead and   sign up for the weight list for the next live uh 

coaching that we have on this. It's about what's   going to work for your life. I'm not here to tell 

you this is the only way it's ever going to work.   I'm here to tell you that this is an outline and 

you can choose to do it how you want. This 555   has worked well for me. Uh the woman I learned 

it from, I think it was like a 20 minute thing   and it just didn't work for me.

I like five 

minutes works fine. Uh so five minutes a day,   five days a week for a minimum of five weeks. 

That's how we change beliefs. But here's the   great news. Once you get this into your head that 

you are now changing your beliefs one at a time,   once you figure out how to do it, you're going 

to whip through those beliefs in no time because   one thing that I learned over the years is once 

you're aware, you can never be unaware. So that's   the good news. Step two is cognitive dissonance. 

So it's just a big word really. What it actually   means is listening to ideas that do not align with 

your own because that is exactly how your brain   works. Your brain is going to continue down that 

road of exactly whatever that belief is until you   introduce cognitive dissonance. Which means when 

your friends tell you that they think you're very   clever and smart and loving and compassionate, 

whatever those are a fit for you or any other   words, you have to take that in.

You have to be 

willing to consider that they might be right.   That is cognitive dissonance. It's listening 

to ideas that are not aligned with what you   currently believe and having the willingness to be 

open to the idea that they might actually in fact   be right. How we do this is not that complicated. 

We're looking for evidence that oppose your views.   So either it comes from friends or it comes from 

things you do. Um you're going to make a list of   that evidence that is different. So I I actually 

love this example. So, there's one guy, and I hear   this all the time because I spend so much time 

in Mexico. Oh, I can't learn Spanish. It's too   hard. It's too hard. I can't. But the more that 

guy tells himself that he can't learn Spanish,   the more true it becomes because the more true 

it becomes in his world, the more evidence he   finds of that being true. Right?

So, cognitive 

dissonance would be listening to his buddy here   who says, "I hired a tutor. It really helped 

me. I thought that before as well." So, that is   how we create cognitive dissonance. You have to be 

open to it. There's nothing more frustrating than,   and I'm sure you've experienced this, too, when 

you're talking to somebody and they're just like,   "No, no, never worked for me. No, never, not gonna 

happen." They're not open to cognitive dissonance.   They're not open to any other ideas that might 

actually work in changing their mind. So,   step three is just a daily commitment to small 

changes. Like I said, 2 minutes a day. Now,   the the meditation piece I know makes people groan 

like crazy, but it can be as simple as staring at   an object and just breathing or closing your eyes 

and just breathing because what actually happens   when you do that is things start to surface that 

you're not aware of. And I'll tell you a little   story about that in just two seconds. Identifying, 

acknowledging, and examining our beliefs is a   major step forward towards realignment. You 

could take this diagram and literally follow  it and learn how to do this or you could work with 

someone like me that would help you move through   that.

Step one again is create brain calm and 

quiet. Start to notice the thoughts and beliefs   and the stories that hold you back. Keep track 

of the stories you tell yourself. This is really  important. When you start writing them down, you 

start to notice how often you're actually saying  it. And you're not going to be able to do it all 

day. I totally get it. But when you notice it,  you're going to jot it down in your notes on your 

phone or something. Step two, you're going to seek  create cognitive dis seek and create cognitive 

dissonance by paying attention to opinions and  beliefs that are different from your own. And this 

also works by noticing things like if you're an  overeater and you want to not overeat and you're 

in the dollar store lineup and the chocolate bars   are right there because we all know the dollar 

store chocolate bars are the best buy and they're  right there and you choose not to buy one. That's 

also cognitive dissonance. Remind yourself that  you are training yourself to not automatically 

grab I'm in Canada. I love crunchy bars. Okay, so  step three is practice. Now, if you can't do this 

5 days a week, again, I already said this, you   can shorten it down. Do what you can do because I 

know we are all busy. We all have limitations and  often we just don't feel like it. But remember, 

in order to change anything in your life, you're   never going to feel like it. Feeling like it is 

never going to come. You're really going to have   to use your drive and determination to get the 

results. So continually remind you remind yourself   of what the result might be. Now of course we dive 

way deeper into this in our workshop. There's so   much to learn. It takes a long time. Our workshop 

will run probably in the next little bit. I'm   filming this in August. It'll probably run mid 

September. So put yourself on the wait list. Thanks 

so much for watching and I will see you soon.