To move your life forward in a substantial way you must stop listening to the BS in your head. Words create reality! The importance of language cannot be underestimated. Check out this video from a renowned therapist
I think about language all the time, my own, and others.
Daily I am confronted with words in a way that makes me wonder where people have come from that would have them chose as they do. As a person who is fortunate enough to speak to many people daily, I notice the language we use and how that correlates to how we see ourselves and create our individual reality.
How I came to notice my own Language patterns
My knowledge of language and how it shapes us is primarily made up of my own experience. Also from speaking to people from a coaching perspective, it is imperative that you hear beyond the words spoken aloud.
As a child I was told who I was and then carried that along with me for many years. Someplace along the way I decided that I wanted more for myself than my limited language about myself would allow.
How to change our language to change our lives
So I started really listening to my words, actually hearing the things I was saying to myself. The first thing I noticed was that I told myself I was stupid, a lot!
Years before, due to a challenging home life, I had run away from it all, my family, school, and any connection I had to my upbringing. In an effort to rid myself of the toxic nature of that environment, I ran. I ran fast and far to the NWT (remote northern Canada)to a dishwashing job. Yes that was preferable to where I was running from.
What I did not understand was that I had learned the words, and the particular language of my childhood. I had learned it well and would continue to use it for many years to come. Not realizing that I was effectively using someone else’s language to dictate who I was to be.
The success I created by learning the importance of language.
20 some years later I wanted to finish high school. I did not need to, I had gone on to create careers without it but I thought the reason I called myself stupid all day long was that I had so much shame about having only a grade 8 education.
I did finally get through the education and graduated at 49 years old, but still the nasty, shameful way I spoke to myself persisted.
Having hung the blame on lack of education for so many years I was perplexed at what was going on. Then I recalled a conversation with a therapist from years before.
“you realize you are just using their bat to beat yourself up now that they are not around to do it”
Of course we hardly ever “get” anything the first time we hear it. At the moment I remembered that comment I decided it was time to decide what words were mine and what were theirs.
Forever changed by language and how I use it
I have been doing that for years now, I have noticed how much language dictates how I chose to be in any given situation.
I have learned how to auto-correct because those neuropathways in my brain are deep and well-trodden as a public path in a popular park.
Every time I chose differently, I chose to use the fresh less worn path. It is more difficult and time-consuming however; knowing that the importance of the language I chose dictates who I am to be, it’s worth it.