The comparison monster! How we hurt ourselves when we try to grow 


The past few day’s I have been working on the year ahead.  Planning for my business launches, goals and that sort of thing.  Difficult as it may be, looking back is an important tool to assess where you may be able to go this year.Often when looking at one’s self, or our success and failures, we tend to see the negative, the not so good, particularly if you have a brain that is conditioned that way.  It is not that way for everyone but when it is, it can be a struggle to let go of all the shitty things you may have done in the past!  Sometimes it may not be things you have done but rather what you did not do.We can’t change the past, as much as that might seem like the “thing” to make you feel better, it is impossible and as such needs to be let go of.  Letting go is not the same as forgetting.  We need benchmarks to measure success.  What benchmarks will you use?In comes the comparison monster!For me, if I look at my business coach too long I inevitably start to compare myself and it sounds something like this…“How the F* does she manage to get so much done?”  “She is so smart, no way I could ever be that good”. “She is so nice, people love her”I could go on and on but you get the gist of it!  Sometimes I am able to put a quick stop to it, more on that a little later, and other times I battle my brain a bit longer!This kind of thinking leads me down a familiar road, familiar, not so healthy.  It ends up in stuck and “not good enough land”Have you ever experienced this, where you notice yourself comparing to someone else, performance, looks, success?Kill the monsterSometimes when it is happening I will run a timer, give myself 3 minutes to vent all the chatter out.  Indulge it, really get into it, sometimes out loud!“That which we resist persists” not sure who said that, someone smarter than me for sure!See how fast that can happen?  Note the “someone smarter than me for sure”. This is just one little instance but sometimes I can go hog wild dance with the comparison monster.If venting alone does not work, try inventory.  Take a look at where it is you think your inadequate, at then look back.  Is this something that you are working on?  Find something similar, were you always able to do that thing?The point is that we are always growing, or dying.  The cool thing we get to chose our experience of this.I did not know how to connect a URL to a funnel 4 years ago.  I recall I had to look it up so many times before it sunk in.  Now, this is something I do without thinking.Our brains tend to minimize things we NOW understand and forget that we did not always know that.  This is why inventory is important when we find ourselves comparing to others.While important to look back to create a future plan, don’t get stuck “back there”.  Use the information to pat yourself on the back for what you did you.  Layout what you think you can improve on, and do that.Don’t waste your time comparing, that never ends well.If you are interested in some of my brain hacks…I have 97 short videos, less than 2 minutes and a variety of life hacking topics.Find those HERE on my Youtube channel.While your there, please subscribe because I have an embarrassingly low number of subscribers.  Compared to you know, anyone!!! LOL