I have to come from a better place if I expect a better world 


Sunday is my day, or part of the day to do my running about, getting supplies for the week ahead. I generally enjoy this time, the prep, the excitement of starting a new week prepared.
Lately I have found myself frustrated, not enjoying the process as I have in the past. Greeting service people with smiles and idle chit chat only to be met with indifference and disgruntled attitudes.
I get it, most service people don’t earn much money in their positions. Often management has unreasonable expectations on employees.
I wonder though, at what point did things change, why does it seem to be acceptable to ignore customers, turn back and not greet people.
Even the greeters at Walmart don’t greet, which I find super strange and more than I little awkward when I greet them and they look away.
I generally smile and say hello. I don’t expect much, a response perhaps?
Tonight I had run to the local drug chain to pick something up and I zipped into the makeup department to try to find some concealer to even out my blotchy skin… But I digress, skin not the point here.
Not seeing anyone, I went over to the rack to try to see if I could figure it out on my own (not likely given my limited knowledge of girly stuff).
It was then I noticed the gal sitting on the floor, stocking a shelf and I crouched down within 3 feet of her, glazing over at the sight of shiny bottles of “stuff”. I managed to find the one I might have wanted to try. But no tester.
Now, I don’t know much but I do know I am not spending 25.00 on a color I can’t try, not without a little input from someone! There was a BIG sign that said, “do not open bottles, if no tester is there speak to representative” (same gal who has still not even acknowledged me you mean?)
“excuse me, there is no tester for this concealer” I say politely.
she kinda sighs and does not even look up, nada, no hello, FU nothin! “yea, if its not there, I don’t have anything”
In my head, I’m like, what does that even mean? I know, I get it, english and all…. but really? Now me, I think she is going to offer to help me find something. Nope, nothin, I just kinda hesitated for a moment, feeling rejected and unimportant!
Now this is where I made a bad choice, instead of asking for more help I got up and started walking away. Over my shoulder, like a coward in my best passive aggressive tone, I say.
“thank you very much for exactly zero help”
Then I instantly felt terrible. Despite knowing where this comes from within myself I recognized the opportunity I had. Instead of taking it, I squandered it in exchange for a passive aggressive remark.
Now I have no idea what was up with her or any of the service people I came across today that were not interested in serving at all, but I do know how one feels coming face to face with bad service.
I do have to wonder though, if that gal knew how rejected I made myself feel with our interaction, would she have chose differently?
I also know that we get what we give, perhaps not the same moment or day or time but eventually. As a result, I am going to continue to smile, and greet and be kind, even when I want to be an ass instead, like tonight.
I will do this because I know that the world cannot be made better by not trying to connect with people or by being passive aggressive.
The world is made better by connecting with people regardless of on the road, in the park or on the job.
Having had this experience tonight, I kick myself in the Ass and remember that if I want connection, I have to be connected to my highest self.